Every time we meet someone, there is an exchange of energy. This could be a fleeting moment, like passing someone who glances your way, or a brief encounter in a queue. It might also be a longer interaction, such as sharing a flight for a few hours or an overnight train journey.
Then there are colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances, or vendors—individuals we meet only once or twice a month. Despite the brevity of these interactions, they leave an impression on us. Sometimes, we are conscious of it; other times, it subtly influences us without our awareness. Our perceptions of people and situations shift our emotions throughout the day, shaping our lives. Emotions, in simple terms, are “energy in motion.”
Often, we find ourselves complaining, sometimes without even realising it:
• “The person behind me in the queue kept pushing. It was so annoying.”
• “My colleague has such a bad body odour. It’s unbearable.”
• “The baby next door cries all night, and I can’t get enough sleep.”
• “The world is going downhill.”
• “There are no good people left.”
• “Everyone is trying to take advantage of me.”
• “These vendors are thieves.”
• “People at the mall are judging me.”
• “Why do the neighbours park their car in front of my house?”
• “I had a bad flight because of the person sitting next to me.”
These are passing remarks about situations beyond our control. Yet, we have opinions and preferences, and sometimes we even comment on strangers:
• “Look at how she’s dressed.”
• “That politician is terrible.”
• “Everyone from that community is bad. They should all be punished.”
We often share these thoughts on social media, and like-minded people engage with them. These fleeting interactions accumulate, adding unnecessary negativity to our lives.
Now, imagine what we harbour inside when it comes to our long-term karmic relationships. These include our parents, siblings, spouses, children, in-laws, friends, and relatives. Such relationships aren’t mere coincidences; they are karmic connections that transcend lifetimes. Some force beyond our understanding has brought us together. We might have known some or all these souls in previous incarnations.
I am not undermining or minimising you pain or agony. If you have been hurt by someone close it can scar you deep inside. Betrayal by a loved one can cause anger, sadness, and confusion. It’s easy to dwell on these feelings, replaying the hurt in your mind again and again like a broken record. However, holding onto grudges has detrimental effects:
• It brings unresolved anger into new relationships.
• It prevents you from enjoying the present.
• It makes you feel anxious, depressed, or upset.
• It may conflict with your spiritual beliefs.
• It creates distance from others, damaging relationships.
The more we dwell on these negative emotions, the stronger they become. These intense feelings lower our vibrational frequency, attracting more similar experiences into our lives, reinforcing our negative beliefs:
• “Nobody loves me.”
• “I’m not lovable.”
• “My parents preferred my siblings.”
• “My spouse is kind to everyone but me.”
• “My kids hate me.”
• “My relatives are awful.”
• “I don’t have friends.”
We resist forgiveness because it feels like we’re condoning the wrongdoing. But forgiving doesn’t mean accepting harmful behaviour or reconciling with the person who hurt us. It’s not about excusing someone’s actions. Forgiveness is about freeing ourselves from the bitterness, setting our hearts free from the pain of “Why me?” or “How could this happen?”
Forgiveness means letting go of the grudge. When someone hurts us, we can hold onto that anger or release it. Most of us have been hurt by someone—a parent, friend, or partner. Some have experienced traumatic events like abuse, leaving behind lasting feelings of anger and bitterness.
Do you know how a magnet works? A magnet creates a magnetic field that attracts certain materials, like iron. When small objects such as iron filings attach to a magnet, they align with the magnetic field, temporarily becoming magnets themselves. This strengthens the magnetic effect because the filings add to the overall magnetic pull.
Our emotions also work similarly. They attract more emotions of the same frequency. An insignificant difference of opinion with your parents or spouse – can snowball into the belief that “they never agree with me” or “they don’t like me”.
We may read too much between the lines and give significance to happenings that may not be true. Over time, we gather more evidence, and the negative emotions accumulate into a heavy cloud over our heads.
It’s a vicious cycle – an external trigger leads to either anger, jealousy – makes us give a reaction like raised voice, banging door, rolling eyes – this leads to guilt for overreaction – guilt makes us over compensate – over compensation leads to anger – why am I the only one making effort, doing things, I am the good person here, always wronged and misunderstood – leads to reaction again leads to guilt leads to over compensation.
It just never ends.
Soon, too many voices are talking at the same time in our head, are competing for attention in our minds:
• “Nobody loves me.”
• “I’m not lovable.”
• “My parents preferred my siblings.”
• “My spouse doesn’t understand me.”
• “My kids hate me.”
• “The person behind me in the queue was annoying.”
• “The world is falling apart.”
The mental noise becomes overwhelming. You don’t know which voice is coming from within and which one voice to follow.
Consider this – if you are in a noisy place and you get a phone call. To answer the call, either you will have to shout louder than the noises or step out. Likewise – when there are too many voices inside – you run out for external validation. You want to make friends, become likeable by conforming to their standards. You run out because you feel there is no way within.
Chaos inside – and now you have chaos outside.
There is a saying in Hindi – Yat Pinde Tat Brahmande , meaning “All that is outside you is within you,” or “Your body is a miniature universe.”
Many of us leave this incarnation with the chaos inside and leave a chaos in our environment unsettled.
Forgiveness is the first step in resolving these conflicts and clearing the voices one by one so that we can reach our soul and listen to its soft tender voice.
In a wrestling match – if either one of the players doesn’t yield, the match keeps moving to the next round. If we do not resolve our matters here and now – we will reincarnate with the same people until we learn our lessons and resolve our conflicts.
The next incarnation may not be as blessed as this one. Lower emotions – lower frequency – and the next incarnation may be lower than the current one.
Forgiveness means to set free the mind space that keeps thinking about it and the person in a loop like a broken record. You keep replaying the incident(s) again and again in your mind – strengthening your lower emotions like – anger, hatred, loss, remorse, sadness.
You vibrate at lower frequencies, weakening your aura.
Weak aura – weakens the immunity – making the body prone to diseases. Depending on the intensity of emotions – it may start as common cold or seasonal allergies and then BP, diabetes or other chronic diseases invade, if you don’t release the negative emotions. Holding grudges causes more harm to self.
However, by choosing to forgive, you find peace, hope, and a chance to heal.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or excusing the harm done. It simply means deciding to let go of the anger that weighs you down. It brings peace that allows you to focus on yourself and move on with life.
Forgiveness is not just a one-time event—it’s an ongoing process. Whether or not you reconcile with those who have hurt you, the act of forgiveness allows you to heal, grow, and move forward with peace in your heart.
Forgiveness if adopted as a practice on an everyday basis – raises your frequencies. You move to the next orbit. You start attracting abundance and happiness. Your immunity gets stronger.
Letting go of grudges and resentment has many benefits. It can lead to:
• Healthier relationships
• Better mental health
• Less stress and anxiety
• Lower blood pressure
• A stronger immune system
• Better heart health
• Higher self-esteem
Forgiveness Doesn’t Always Mean Reconciliation
Sometimes, after you forgive someone, you might not want to continue a relationship with them. That’s okay. Forgiveness is about finding peace, not necessarily about reconciling with the person who hurt you. In some cases, reconciliation isn’t even possible if the person is no longer in your life. Forgiveness doesn’t mean they’re off the hook for their actions—it just means you’re choosing to let go of the anger.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean Expecting Change or apology
Forgiveness is only about you. You cannot control the other person. They may or may not change. They may or may not apologise or even accept the impact of their actions. It’s about bringing peace to your own life. By forgiving, you free yourself from their control. Even if they never change, forgiveness can help you move forward and find happiness.
Often, it’s our ego that makes forgiveness difficult. The ego is easily offended and quick to react with anger or jealousy. When your ego gets in the way, it can prevent you from forgiving others. Letting go of ego-driven reactions is key to cultivating forgiveness and finding inner peace.
In conclusion, forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal growth and spiritual development. It helps you let go of negative feelings and opens the door to peace and happiness. While it may take time and effort, the rewards of forgiveness—both for yourself and for your relationships—are well worth it.